Thursday, May 13, 2010

I needed a change....

I am trying to stick to my resolution to blog more often. As a result, you will be hearing about the very mundane details of my life until I can come up with something funnier and more "light your pants on fire" to blog about.

First item of business: I needed a change. BAD. I was sick of looking at the same thing over and over every day in the mirror. So I mixed it up a little bit. Nothing too drastic, just enough to keep the masses entertained. I finally cut my hair a bit. I am ashamed to admit that it had been since just before Reagan was born. I got a little distracted right after that time. And secondly, I did something I have never done but have always wanted to do. I got my hair colored professionally. I just went a few shades darker and its only semi-permanent so I can wait and decide if I want to sign on the dotted line for this color. I must have taken a dozen pictures of it, trying to capture the look just right. It took me awhile to realize the problem was less with the hair and more with my face. I look pathetic! Please tell me, do I look this way all the time?

Second item of business. I am still going strong with the Vegetarianism for the month of May. The hardest thing for me to stay away from is cheese. I actually stink at staying away from cheese. I rationalize by saying that it is to keep the family together. I am pretty sure if my husband found out I had cut out cheese, he would leave me. Eggs and milk have been much easier, with only a couple of instances since the month started. Meat has been the easiest. I gave in and ate meat on Mother's Day. Come On! It was MY day and she made BBQ chicken! I am only human. I got bored pretty quickly of nuts, black beans, and tofu shakes. I had to come up some more variety. One of my faves so far has been tofu and lentil tacos. I swear on my grave that they were delicious. I didnt even miss the meat. Here is a picture of the finished taco and what the filling looked like when it was done.

Recipe (I am choosing to believe that some people will actually want this):
1/4 cup green lentils
1/4 cup onions, chopped
1/2 cup water
Add these all to a saucepan, bring to a boil and then reduce heat. Simmer for 20+ min. or until lentils are soft.
1, 8 oz. can of tomato sauce
1 taco seasoning packet
Bring back to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer uncovered for 5 min.
8 oz. of firm or extra firm tofu, finely chopped
Warm all the way through then spoon into taco shells and top with cheese, tomato, lettuce, and salsa. Yummy!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Good Ol' Days

I was surfing this morning, and I came across some vintage advertisements that FASCINATED me. I know that sometimes we yearn for "the good old days", but let's take a little moment and say a prayer of thanks that somethings have changed.....

WHY am I dieting, again? Apparently I can just swallow some tapeworms and, POOF! (My favorite part is the "no ill effects").
Does anybody else relate personally to this ad? My husband is always spanking me we I bring home bad coffee.

Ummmm, I am sensing some pedophilia charges here in just a little bit.

I don't know what they are advertising, but call the exorcist, because that girl obviously has a problem.

This one gave me nightmares. Really.

As a woman, I am choosing to take just a little offense to this.

Her Papa is an idiot.

Okay, maybe I do miss the good ol' days just a little bit. Nothing like Heroin on the drugstore shelf.

Buy our thermos or your baby will DIE! I believe they exaggerated just a titch for effect.

This one is mildly offensive in mixed company, I suppose. "Your married happiness depends on the real you...confident you, never doubting your intimate feminine hygiene. Don't risk becoming another you". Got it. Douching=Lasting marriage.

This cow has a nickname....Benedict Arnold.

Ever wonder the connection between decaf and child abuse?

Why don't you just come right out and say it?

The other day Reagan was saying the same thing. "Please smoke, Mommy. I don't want you to be mad at me".

This toy was only on the market for a year. Then it was pulled for exposing children to the same toxins linked to Gulf War syndrome, cancer, leukemia, and lymphoma. Seriously.

If your mom lets you get a sunburn like that, you might want to get the phone number to CPS along with that Noxzema.

You too can have a perve with a telescope looking into your home if you buy our bra.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Here's to Trying New Things

Alright, I hate to admit this to the entire world, but my life is just a titch boring sometimes. I know, I know. You are all thinking "How could that be possible seeing as you are a suburban stay at home mom of one with an invisible husband?" Well, believe it folks. That's why sometimes I have to create adventures for myself.

My most recent adventure starts today. I have dubbed May "Vegetarian Month". To be completely forthcoming, it was going to be "Vegan Month", but after extensive research, I don't think I have the guts for that. So instead, I am going to be a stricter vegetarian with only limited amounts of dairy and eggs. It was also originally only going to be a week, but I decided I needed more time to get over the withdrawal of all things meaty (read:tasty).

Some people may ask where this retarded idea came from. If you know me, you know that I LOVE food, and I can pack away more food faster than most competitive food eating contest contestants. I seriously just need something interesting to focus on. Also, ever since I had Reagan, I have been researching a little more about the food we put into our bodies. I want to set her up for success as best as I possibly can. I recently switched to organic animal products and by-products, but I wonder if that is still not enough. I have been trying unsuccessfully to lose the last handful of pounds from my pregnancy. Who would have thought that training for a marathon wouldn't be enough. I want to throw my body for a loop and see if that is what it takes to get it out of this rut.

I will report from time to time how my journey is going for the benefit of the millions that read this blog. I will do an AAR (after action review) at the end of the month and then I will either make it permanent or you will find me at IN-N-OUT with a huge burger in hand (which is where I was last night :)

All the food in my house with animal products in it. I was going to throw it away, and then I felt guilty.